Proposed additions to the Periodic Table
1. Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't go there)
Physical properties:
- Generally round in form.
- Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time.
- Melts whenever treated properly.
- Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties:
- Very active.
- Highly unstable.
- Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
- Volatile when left alone.
- Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental.
An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
2. Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties:
- Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.
- Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
- Difficult to find a pure sample.
- Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties:
- Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.
- Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
- Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time.
- Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known.
Possibly good methane source (good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command).
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
